The expensive cat

The woman sitting across from me by the fireplace at the coffee shop was sighing. Then she'd check her cell phone; then she'd sigh. Is there anything wrong I asked. My grandmother's dying she said. I'm sorry, were you close? No, she's 99.9 years old and we don't expect her to live the week; I'm expecting a call any moment.

She was from Cleveland, and in the course of our conversation I learned her cat was "being bad." That means, in case you don't know cat code words, he was peeing all over the place. She listed all the things they'd tried--first a check for kidney or bladder disease; changing the brand of litter; changing the food; isolating him. Finally, they'd hired a . . . pet behavorist (kitty shink). The shrink said the kitty didn't have enough stimulation, so her husband had taken out a second mortgage and bought kitty jungle gyms and stimulating toys. They had spent, over the course of trying to fix this, about $5,000. But they love their kitty. . . still. She's waiting to replace the carpeting until they get this under control. I don't know how big the house is, but I suppose that will be another $10,000.

Do you know the #1 cause of death of pets? Euthanasia. Brought on by inappropriate elimination and desperate pet owners.