Proud and relieved Dad

Chatted with a man in the coffee shop who said his son just got an MBA at The Ohio State University--and a job! His daughter received a B.S. in Education (also from OSU) and has her first teaching job. His third child is a junior. He says it's very, very quiet at home.

Dads and their kids at the coffee shop

This week I saw some great bonding going on with dads and their kids over breakfast--lessons being taught. One dad was teaching his daughter fractions by writing them on the napkin and then drilling her. She looked old enough to have been taught this some time ago in school, but was having a struggle. Probably Chicago Math.

I also overheard a British dad instructing his kids in proper use of English and why it's important to wash hands. "You're doing well, not good," he reminded the younger one who spoke American English. "Go wash your hands so you don't catch colds." That may be the first time I've heard someone tell kids to wash after they've eaten.

Dads in coffee shops

This morning there were two cute toddlers having races and playing tag at the coffee shop. Round and round they went, narrowly missing customers who didn't see them coming. Now if coffee had been spilled on them. . .

Ten dollars worth of donuts

As I was leaving the coffee shop this morning I overheard two young boys--9 or 10--talking. One boy was husky (chubby) the other wiry, and both were on small bikes. The heavier child said to the other, "My mom gave me $11 for donuts, but I only spent $10." He handed the smaller child the sack who opened it and took one.

How an 8 year old sees it

On my way to the coffee shop this morning my neighbor's 8 year old grandson was walking a few steps behind me. "Have you got a big day planned? I asked. "Oh yes," he said with enthusiasm. "I'm on my way to get doughnuts." (Patio Restaurant serves fabulous warm doughnuts in the morning, freshly made.) "How about the other activities?" "Oh yes, I've been coming here for eight years and there's so much to do."

Now that's cabin fever

It's been really cold in Columbus--below zero. Warming a bit now. But I saw a couple pushing two double strollers through the snow and cold to Panera's yesterday. They had a 7 year old, a 3 year old, and twins under one. That puts a whole new slant on going out for breakfast.

More ways NOT to communicate

This morning at the coffee shop a mother and pre-schooler sat in the cozy chairs by the fireplace. Many schools here were on a two-hour delay because of ice. Even I, the forever early riser, waited until almost 7 a.m. to leave the house. I smiled and they smiled. Nice family scene. Then I heard the unmistakable voice of Bugs Bunny above the classical music and noise from the bakery. I looked up. The little guy is watching a video on a hand held i-pod. He wasn't wearing the ear piece so the sound could be heard 10 ft. away at my table. Mom was staring off in the distance and periodically dozing. He was well behaved with his electronic babysitter, but wouldn't human interaction be important too? A hot chocolate, a roaring fire, things to observe and talk about to expand his horizons? At home he probably watches videos on TV, or plays games on the computer. Mom looked to be about 40-45--old enough to know there is a better life for children if you just turn off a few appliances.

Catholic school

The guys at the coffee shop were discussing their Catholic school education and how tough the nuns were "in the old days." One said, "I got an excellent elementary school education, but I did get beat up a lot walking to and from school."

Pink pajamas

Overheard awfully juicy sniffing and snorting from the area where a mother and little daughter in pink pajamas were sitting. I looked over at the little girl (about 7 years old), but it was the mother! Gross! I thought about handing her a Kleenex, but I was using mine. Another woman came in and I heard the snuffly, sniffy mom tell her the little girl was sick so she was keeping her out of school. Soon the mommy moved to another table to join her friend, leaving the little pink clad girl alone. She sipped a bit of her hot chocolate--mostly the whipped cream. Then she got up and started running around--not obnoxiously, but bored. Took a few more sips. Finally, mom was ready to go. She put the lid on the little (sick) girl's cup and began to drink it.

On the other side of my table I overheard a female attorney telling a male friend how much she hates her job--I think it involved family custody battles. She was complaining that when she loses, she eats the costs--sometimes thousands. The lies are just awful, she said. The children suffer. She was thoroughly disgusted with her clients, many in prison. Evil, she said. Just evil. Made me happy I'd been a librarian where the worst lies we'd get were "the dog ate it." (And in vet libraries that really happened.)

I suspect her friend was also an attorney, and good for him, he just listened and nodded. He offered no advice; no "can you top this" stories. That's what friends are for.

My Kleenex would have had a good work-out if I'd shared it today.

Children in the coffee shops

All alone
You can tell a lot about parenting skills just by observing the children. I saw a regular come in with his boy--maybe middle school. Actually, I'm just guessing they are father and son, they don't look alike at all. The boy sat quietly at a table for two waiting for dad and ate his muffin; the adult joined a group of men in the back where his voice is always louder than everyone else's and his stories are of the "you can't top this" variety. Is he showing off? Insecure? As smart as he believes he is? I know from his pontificating on the failings of others that he is a rich Democrat, but that's about all I know. Still, the little boy was left alone to eat his muffin. But he was watching dad's every move to see how a real man socializes.

Where was mom when she got dressed?
It's chilly today--barely 30 degrees. It will probably warm up in the afteroon--maybe close to 60. Two young ladies, possibly 14, came in the coffee shop (located near the high school) wearing t-shirt tops--the kind that look like maternity shirts of 20 years ago--and no coats. One was wearing shorts! I could almost see the goosebumps on her white legs. Where was mom when she left the house?

Who's in charge of nutrition for the children?
A mom and her two daughters, one a teen the other maybe in middle school are sitting nearby. The teen is a head taller than mom and quite overweight. Mom is just "pleasingly plump" as we used to say, and very pretty. Teen daughter has 2 large cinnamon crunch bagels with cream cheese. 16 grams of saturated fat, or 60% of the recommended amount for the day. Smaller daughter who is not over weight, has one plain. Mom is just chatting--not eating.

Two styles of fathering

There are two stunning, well dressed fathers who come into the coffee shop in the morning before school each with a young, elementary school aged son. Both men are trim and buff, carefully groomed and have beautiful white hair, one being in his forties, the other maybe early fifties. But oh what a difference in their parenting style.

Dad #1 reads the Columbus Dispatch while his son fidgets, eats his muffin, and looks out the window. Dad doesn't converse, chit-chat or lecture. When he finishes the paper, and the boy most of his muffin, the father barks out an order: "Hurry up; brush your teeth." The little guy BRUSHES HIS TEETH AT THE TABLE! He spits the saliva onto the tray, and daddy and son leave.

Dad #2 and son talk sports--NBA, NFL, college--doesn't matter, it's mostly sports. But the little guy can hang in there with dad and not get lost in scores and charts. Occasionally I've even seen the dad going over spelling words with the boy and heard dad ask him what is on his agenda for the day.

Good dental hygiene is important and will put this boy on the path to good health. Learning how to banter about sports is a step towards male bonding and networking. But I must say, if I were a kid, I'd prefer dad #2.